These past two weeks I have been feverishly working on a wee little pdf booklet I want to share with everyone soon. It is nothing fancy, just a creative exploration. When I started this tarot journey a few years back what drew me was my first love, literature [words]. The potential for crafting narratives and exploring ideas with the cards was, and still is, very enticing. Shortly after starting my tarot journey life had a huge surprise in store for me which ended up upturning my projected career and life plans. I was going to be a mother, and now books and my eternal quest for knowledge was going to have to shift into something more accommodating for this new identity. I renounced my projected goals of entering academia and my glittering dream of writing books and doing research. Looking back, I know that I am where I need to be.
Truthfully, I have had a love/hate relationship with academia as the whole superstructure has been evolving into something I cannot see myself inhabiting. I used to hold fanciful, naive dreams of having a PhD attached to my name and inspiring students to think and approach life with zeal. And as I navigated my studies many things became apparent, one of them being that I didn’t feel I fit into the mold. I continued studying and learning, while constantly doubting my path, my utility. I love words, I love reading, learning, thinking, and writing. That about sums up my passions. What do I do with all this? Needless to say, I acquired a new passion along the way, my son. Now aside from this role of mother, what am I useful for? As I continue reading the cards I know that I love reading them, I love reading for myself whenever I get the chance, and for others when the opportunity arises. I see card reading as an extension of reading books, exploring narratives (I apologize for the redundancy), and acquiring knowledge.
Now that some time has passed with perspective gained, I see that it is up to me how I put my passion to use, how I exert my gifts in this plane of existence. It is up to me how I am of use. Having said all this, I recently bought a little Nietzsche oracle book, created by some local people. This afternoon I shuffled the cards and pulled a trio I had previously pulled the night before. I looked at the cards and decided to see what Nietzsche had to say about them. After rolling the dice, the perfect words sprang to life from the little book.
Dreams and intoxication. We must keep in mind that measured restraint, that freedom from the wilder emotions, that calm of the sculptor god. -Nietzsche
This taught me a valuable lesson, that only now I am beginning to understand. Dreams and desires, wishes, do well in being tempered by the sculptor god, that tempers. Shaped into perfection through time, patience, and measured balance. Detachment. An un-tempered and unruly dream is merely intoxication that only serves to leave one hanging in mid-air, feverish and desperate. Thank you Nietzsche for elucidating the images.
This small project of mine was born out of the 9 of cups wish to transform my passion into the present day, into the now. I wanted to be of use, but most importantly, I just wanted to write and create.
Having said all this, I will be sharing my project on here for anyone to grab and enjoy if they so wish. And remember,
We are all in a state of becoming.